As I planned the storyline for the script, I wanted to convey a feeling I had been struggling to wrap my head around recently. Originally the concept of the short film revolves around the character of Matthew, whose name derives from ‘Matthew the Apostle’ – not for any other reason other than I wanted to glorify God and Jesus Christ by acknowledging him in the names of characters from the Bible, I digress.

Matthew was to face hardship, a strong lack of connection with himself, alluring situations that seemed to be more than just a persistent battle with faith, but a battle with identity, music and love with no foreseeable end or solution.

This is my first film, my first attempt at directing anything, apart from freestyles, I worked tirelessly on fourteen hour shifts everyday for two months to save up for a camera to upgrade DBT, the film had been on my mind for probably around a year, so when I got the camera, my first thought was… the movie.

In writing the lines and biography for Matthew – the main character who is unnamed in the movie to create a subliminal and subconscious connection between his spill and lack of self-identity through to the audience. I really felt for him, even writing this, still in a similar predicament with my own music and observing my friends’ music, as their releases seem to be less frequent. Writing seems like a task, listening less of a journey – an experience, less of a calling – I feel physical pain writing this, a deep bulge in the bottom of my chest, a lump in the back of my throat, (major pause). Music doesn’t connect with me anymore, as Matthew struggles to accept this concept, his frustration becomes apparent, and at times drifts into anger, which Israel Kayode, who played Matthew thought the development of the character should be less gradual. In reflection I agree, music tends to slip away, but feelings don’t, they shift, alter at any given moment thunderously, the passion which once consumed you consumes you literally and becomes less of a healthy vice in solving internal issues or relation and connection and more of a cry for attention, clout and fame, and I feel that’s the direction our society is going. We’re connecting more than ever before, long-distance relationships growing in number, as well as inter racial relationships, the LGBTQ+ community, long lost family members connecting through social media, business and work ventures seem easier than ever to build on and breakthrough with, yet for me at least, it’s a false sense of connection, or ‘togetherness’, and this is how Matthew was probably feeling to some who interpreted his character.

He was lost in his music, so he got lost in his music – “make it make sense.” “Ok.”

Imagine, Matthew gave everything to a craft, his whole life. Built on it, grew support around him who started to expect certain things from him, this somehow slipped beneath his ‘radar’ if you would, and began to control certain aspects of his music causing him to have writer’s block, making releases less frequent, so on and so forth.

Now pressure builds as he hasn’t made it yet, probably has a part time job, but nothing solid that can provide any type of lifestyle to survive in the climate of today’s economy. Stress is also building as he can’t write, his supporters are probably thinning and he doesn’t understand, like many of us who lose our love for something – why.

The rest of the film is available on YouTube, I hope you enjoy it, and I think I won’t go into further detail on this post as it might alter the interpretation and concepts people might’ve had.

Thank you for reading!